One night with the Waynes
by Dragonsister899
Summary: When Piper Hastings won a dinner with the Famous Wayne family, she expected a quiet night with a bunch of rich people... boy was she wrong


Piper sat in the back of the limousine, still dazed about the strange events of this strange day. This morning had started like any other in this dismal dump of a city: overcast and dreary. Piper still missed the sunny skies of her hometown Central City. Her mother had accepted a job here in Gotham, and with her dad dead they needed all the money they could get. Just ten hours earlier, Piper was told that she had won an essay contest, and therefore a free dinner with the Wayne family at the Iceberg Lounge. Her mother had singed a permission slip, and Piper was ready to go in her best blue dress when the doorbell rang and an elderly British chauffer/butler escorted her to the limo where she now resided. The man introduced himself as Alfred Pennyworth, but she may call him Alfred. On their way to the restaurant, Alfred had given her some tips about tonight's dinner, like use the utensils from the outside in, don't eat unfamiliar foods, put your napkin on your lap, and make small talk. He told her that Master Wayne's sons were in town so Masters Dick (he's the oldest,) Jason (he may be a tad rude,) Tim (he's a 'proper gentleman,') and Damian (he'll probably spend the entire meal contemplating the meaning of the universe so steer clear of him) would be joining them. Miss Cassandra would also be there. Alfred said that she doesn't speak English very well since she was born and raised in China before Master Bruce adopted her from an abusive father.

When they arrived at the Iceberg Lounge Alfred took Piper inside. She had never seen anything like it. There were two stories, an open balcony for the second. The walls were painted a light blue and the floor was a slick white marble. Double doors in the back led to the kitchen and waiters dressed in fine vests bustled in and out. But the thing about the restaurant that grabbed Piper's attention the most was the very large iceberg dominating the center of the room with real live seal lions climbing on it and swimming in the water below. Piper stared, flabbergasted, while Alfred asked the waiter behind the podium where the Wayne's were sitting. He looked at them and led Piper to a table near the front. Alfred went back outside to the limo and Piper was sad to see him go. The waiter stopped at a table and Piper got her first look at the famous Waynes.

Bruce stood up and shook her hand, giving her a dazzling smile. "You must be Piper Hastings, I'm Bruce Wayne , but I'm sure Alfred told you that." One of the boys sitting snickered. Piper took the seat that Mr. Wayne offered next to himself and the Asian girl, Cassandra. He looked meaningfully at the boys at the table, who all had beautiful blue eyes and black hair. Cassandra patted Pipers arm and said in a halting English, "Hi, my name is Cass. I like your hair." Piper smoothed her long, brilliant red hair that her mother had coaxed into something that resembled order. The boys introduced themselves, and the one named Jason muttered to Dick that Piper looked like someone named Babs, then winked at him. Mr. Wayne glared at them and an almost tangible awkwardness enveloped the table. Tim ended it by asking Piper about herself and the others joined in, all except the youngest, Damian, who never even made eye contact with Piper. A waiter named Leo came around and took their orders and Piper began to feel more comfortable.

Ten minutes after their food was ordered, the sea lions on the iceberg started barking so loudly that conversations around the room ceased. The front doors burst open and men in clown masks exploded into the room. They fired their guns into the air and yelled at everyone to get on the ground. The boys all looked to Mr. Wayne, an unspoken question in their eyes. Mr. Wayne gave an imperceptible shake of the head and mouthed 'not now.' They shrugged and sat on the ground wit the rest of the shaking diner's. A tall, thin, pale man with green hair and a wide, crazy smile walked leisurely into the room with a perky red and black clad woman on his arm. "Good evening, Ladies and Germs," he said loudly. "The Joker has arrived. The party begins now." Even though Piper had been raised almost across the country, she had seen the Joker on the news, and she knew just how dangerous he was. As the Clown Prince of Crime's trademark laughter filled the room, Piper knew that her night out was officially ruined.

Some of the men in the clown masks ran into the kitchen to subdue the staff as the others raided the safe. Meanwhile the Joker was waving around a toy gun, and the woman (Piper heard Joker call her something like Harley Quinn) dumped a tank of odd, smiling fish into the sea lions pond. The Joker went up to the front podium and ran the little bell. "Table for two please," he chuckled. Once the henchmen had emptied the safe and collected most of the diner's jewelry, they ran back outside to a waiting van. Harley cartwheeled over to the Joker, but when she saw Piper's bright hair out of the corner of her eye, she stopped dead. "Puddin," she said in a high pitched jersey accent, "Looky here. I want one." The joker strolled over to their table and looked around. "Something here does not belong," he said to himself. "I know!" He grabbed Piper's arm and yanked her up. "A queen of hearts among a hand of spades." He then winked at Bruce, "I'm sure monsieur Wayne will pay us big buckaroos to have her back. Hmm, such a good deal, better take two." Harley grabbed Tim's arm as well and pinched Damian's cheeks. She drew her hand away quickly as he tried to bite her, "manners these days, tut tut." Tightening her vise on Tim she led him outside. Piper thought she saw Tim raise an eyebrow at Mr. Wayne, to which he shook his head. Joker pulled piper to the door then turned back to the room. "Jedi business, go back to your drinks," he said in a serious voice. He slammed to door and laughed as her led Piper to the van. He opened the door with a flourish, "after you." Piper climbed in and sat on the bench next to Tim. She listened as Joker locked the door and climbed in next to Harley in the front. The van lurched forward with a jolt and they were on their way to who knows where.

Piper felt odd. She was in a van with a bunch of sweaty men that was being driven by the Joker, who was arguably one of the worst villains out there. That, and she was sitting next to a billionaire's adopted son who was being irritatingly calm! Piper couldn't help but be annoyed at how relaxed he was. He wasn't even breaking a sweat, his breathing was even, and he wasn't freaking out at all. It was if he was kidnapped every other day! Then again, he probably was kidnapped often, given his relationship to Mr. Wayne, on of the wealthiest men in the world. "Are you alright?" he asked. Piper shrugged, she'd been in worse accommodations before. "Hey, no talking," grunted one of the men. There was silence in the van for the rest of the ride, save for the occasional passing of gas and Joker and Harley flirting in the front.

(Back at the lounge) Customers were milling around aimlessly, trying not to look at the dead sea lions floating in the water around the iceberg. Police had come, asked questions, and assured the people that they'd catch the Joker. Everyone knew that was a lie. The Police commissioner, Jim Gordon, would give the information to the Batman and he'd catch the Joker. Most of the guests had left, except the Waynes who were huddled together and talking urgently in hushed tones. "We have to go after them," insisted Dick. "Every second is another where Piper or Tim could be hurt." Jason snorted in assent. "I know," said Bruce, trying to calm them down, "We have no idea where they are, though. I'll have to ask Jim and find out what he's found out." Then an idea popped into Damian's head, "I think I know where they are, and how to rescue them too." He told them his plan and even Cass smiled with the oddity of it. Jason shook his head, "count me out. I ain't going nowhere near the Joker, adios." He got up and left. Damian scoffed, "forget him." Dick grinned, "costumes everyone, we have a villain to catch."

(At the warehouse) Tim was getting impatient. Bruce (no, he would come as Batman) should be here by now. Tim could get himself out, being Red Robin and all, but he didn't have his costume and then there was the matter of the girl. Piper had taken a seat on some of the boxes and had done her best to retain some dignity which is hard to do when you've been kidnapped by a crazy clown and his lovesick girlfriend. Thankfully, the Joker hadn't taken an interest in them so far, but one of the thugs had brought alcohol so Tim knew that this could get real ugly real fast.

Tim came and sat next to Piper on her box. "Sorry about this," he said. She waved away his apology. "Not your fault." She said. "Um…will it be mean to say I'm glad you're here?" He smiled "Nah. Is this your first kidnapping?" She nodded and his smile grew wider, "Well now you have a standard to compare the rest by." Piper smiled for the first time tonight, "So how many times have you been kidnapped? What were they like?" Tim thought for a moment, "I lost count after the fifteenth time. If you count the times as Ro-, I mean with other people."

"What were they like?" she asked. Tim grimaced at the memory of something unpleasant. "Not fun,' he answered.

"Fun? What's not fun? We're having oodles and doodles of fun!" The Joker yelled from across the room.

"Oh no" Tim muttered as the joker made his way over to their pile of boxes with a tipsy Harley behind him. "This is the castle of fun and giggles, and if you don't like it, well…have a banana."

"Careful" Tim muttered to Piper, "He's bipolar and he's has a knife in his right pocket. Don't make him angry."

Joker leered at Tim. "Have I threatened you before? You look familiar…Ah I know" he messed up Tim's gelled hair and covered his eyes with his hand right where a mask would go. Piper gasped, Tim looked like Robin from the old newspaper picture's she'd seen of him. That must mean… "HAHAHAHAHAHA. If I had a crowbar for every time I met a bird, I'd have five crowbars, wait that's not right. Oh well, HA." He then turned his attention to Piper. He grabbed her hair and pulled it over his own greasy green hair. "Poo, do you think I could pull this off?" he asked. It clashed horribly, but Harley gave him a thumbs up. Joker smiled and pulled out his knife. He pulled Piper's hair taut and raised the knife. "NOOO" Tim yelled as he leapt to his feet, and before Piper could fully understand what was happening the knife came down. Piper's head felt suddenly lighter, and in the Joker's hand there was a long clod of bright red hair that thirty seconds prior had been attached to Pipers scalp. Tim was seething, breathing heavily through his nose. "Calm down, boy blunder, it's only hair. Besides it looks better on me anyway." Joker said as he turned around. Tim chose that moment to pounce on him. "LOOK OUT!" Harley screamed. Joker whipped around and caught Tim's neck, then slammed his head into the ground. Tim probably could've escaped but the rest of the henchmen launched themselves on top of him, leaving him at the bottom of a big dog pile with just his head sticking out, with Joker's hand around his neck. Harley caught Piper's arms so she couldn't stop the Joker from hurting Tim any further. "Rookie mistake, Bird brain," the Joker cackled.

"Never will happen again" Tim said.

"Oh I know. Night night Robby poo." The knife came closer to Tim's face and just as it made contact the skylight imploded and Batman landed on a stack of boxed right above them.

The best part was that he wasn't alone. Other superhero's Piper knew as Nightwing, Batgirl, and the most current Robin weren't far behind. Joker grabbed Harley and ran, with Batman right on their tails. Nightwing, Batgirl, and Robin annihilated the henchmen in what was probably record time. Piper watched in fascination. Nightwing never seemed to touch the ground. He used two escrima sticks that repeatedly smashed against the skulls of random henchmen. Batgirl danced from partner to partner, not a single gesture or move was wasted. Robin was defiantly the most aggressive of the three. His mouth was set in a grimace as he broke three noses in just as many punches. The fight was over in under a minute. Nightwing helped Tim off the ground, "are you all right, fair citizen?" he asked grinning.

"Shut up" Tim muttered. Batman came back soon leading the Joker and Harley in handcuffs. He, Robin, and Batgirl left as soon as Joker and Harley were handed over to the police. Nightwing, smiling to himself the entire time, escorted Tim and Piper to Alfred's waiting limo. Alfred drove Piper home and she waved goodbye to them.

Piper walked inside to see her mother packing. "Mom, what's going on?" She asked. "Oh Piper!" Her mother caught her up in a bear hug and ran her fingers through her ruined hair. "Oh sweetie, I'm so glad you're safe. Come on dear, help me pack. I take this madness' anymore." Two days later Piper and her mother were on a flight to Metropolis, Kansas, leaving the memory of Gotham behind them. But Piper will never forget the fateful events of that day, ever.


End file.
